


Humans are Exhausting

by Aspiring_Swamp_Witch



Category: League of Legends
Genre: F/M, Frottage, Groping, Oral Sex, Sexual Humor, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:35:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29622816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspiring_Swamp_Witch/pseuds/Aspiring_Swamp_Witch
Summary: There's a severe lack of fiction involving the might Trundle. So I aim to fix that. Give the Troll King some love!Sligu and Yettu are characters featured in the short story "A Feast Fit for a King" written by Graham McNeill.The Troll King doesn't usually let small folk into his territory (and let them leave alive), but he does allow a little Piltoveran anthropologist to live among his people to gather information for her research.Unfortunately, she comes back.
Relationships: Sligu (League of Legends)/OC, Trundle (League of Legends)/OC
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Humans are Exhausting

_Prologue_

Trundle grunted, trudging his way through the snow. It was currently what passed for summer in Freljord so the snow only came up to his knees. Boneshiver hung by his side, attached to his belt and within easy reach should he run into trouble.

Not that he imagined there’d be trouble.

Not from this one.

The “this one” in question stood in the snow not far ahead. Bundled head to toe in a thick, furred cloak and wearing a pair of reflective goggles, Trundle couldn’t get a feel for what they were. The cloak itself was blindingly white and clean.

The figure had been rubbing their arms with a thick pair of gloves, but they perked up when they saw Trundle approaching. “Haallooooo!” They waved. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming and I’d be standing here in the snow freezing my tush off for nothing!”

Was that – was that a human?

Right.

Trundle reached for Boneshiver and hefted it high. He’d make quick work of this and get back to his cave in time for breakfast.

The human held up their hand. “Waitwaitwaitwait! I’m not here to fight you, King Trundle! In fact,” they put their hands on their hips. “I’ve gone through so much trouble to find you.”

Whatever. He’d let them talk. He did find it strange that a human had been searching for him—especially if it wasn’t to fight.

Oh gods. Was this another missionary? They’d been getting some of those lately from Demacia. Preaching about the ‘evils of magic’ and whatnot. They made interesting noises when Trundle batted them across the tundra.

The human rubbed their arms. “Um,” they said. “Do you mind if we go somewhere a bit warmer? I’d like to take all my bundling off so I can speak to you properly, your majesty.”

Your majesty. Oh, Trundle liked the sound of that. He liked that a lot. Your majesty. Yeah.

He beckoned for the strange human to follow. They reached into the snow and pulled free a pack. They slid it onto their shoulders and moved to follow. They had some difficulty as the snow came up to their hips. While they walked, the human chatted.

About.

Every.

Fucking.

Thing.

“I have never in my days seen so much snow! I thought they were exaggerating, but I’m glad I packed so warmly! Could you imagine coming here unprepared? I’m always prepared. My father says that’s why I’m top of my class. Of course, I’d say I’m top of my class because of hard work and determination! Oh, what’s that? Did you see that? It was like a furry orb! Adorable!”

Trundle was _this_ close to turning this human into a red splotch on the snow. Luckily for them they got to the cave and the talking ceased.

Trundle’s subjects gathered around, thumping the sides of their heads in confusion at the sight of their king bringing back a trespasser. Alive.

The human moved closer to the bonfire and took time to warm up.

Trundle stomped over to them. “Okay, human. You wanted to meet me. You met me. You wanted to get warm. You’re warm. Start talking before I start swinging. You one of those missionaries?”

“Hardly!” the human started to pull of their various coverings and letting them fall to the cave floor.

The human was blonde with their hair tied high in a bouncy ponytail tied with a bright red ribbon. Her green eyes glimmered with intelligence and excitement. She wore a red dress that fell above her knees.

“I am Lady Pillovia Vunia Redrania Mastardes of the Piltover Mastardes,” The human twirled before striking a dramatic pose. “and I am an anthropologist! And I have come to observe your mighty race, King Trundle so that I might write about you for my academic research! I’m so happy for you!”

Trundle groaned.

Somehow that sounded worse than a missionary.

_One year later…_

“King Trundle.”

Trundle was having his post-lunch nap and he wasn’t eager to wake from it.

“King Trundle.”

Maybe if he waited long enough, the annoying voice would go away.

“King Trundle!”

Or he could wake up, smash them with his club, and go back to sleep.

That sounded like a plan.

Trundle opened his eyes and swung down with Boneshiver. He hit nothing because the troll who’d been calling his name was clever enough to do so out of hitting distance.

Sligu waved at him from few feet away. “Sorry to wake you, King Trundle, but there’s a disturbance out front that I thought you might like handling.”

“What disturbance could excuse you waking me from my nap, Sligu?”

“Pillows is back.”

No.

Nooooo.

No! No! No!

Trundle pulled himself up off his throne and ran for the mouth of the cave. He hoped Sligu was wrong. That the rust-brown troll was experiencing ice madness. There was no way. No fucking way—

“Haallooooo!”

Trundle skidded to a stop and groaned.

A familiar bundled form waved enthusiastically in his direction. “King Trundle! King Trundle it’s me!”

Sliggu walked up to his side. “Told you,” he said. Trundle gave him a glare and the smaller troll wisely slid away to give him some space. “She brought a friend.”

Trundle squinted. True enough there was a similar shaped bundle standing next to Pillows. This bundle wore black furs that looked shiny and glossy even beneath Freljord’s weak sunlight.

Pillows and her friend made their way to the cave entrance and Trundle was half tempted to grab a boulder and block the entrance. Pillows waved. “King Trundle,” she pulled down her face covering and smiled. “It’s so wonderful to see you again.”

He said nothing but did manage a grimace that she could interpret as a smile if she was so inclined.

The anthropologist and her companion pushed their way into the cave. By now, word of her arrival had spread, so the trolls had vacated the area. Only Sligu stood there, curious to see what all the fuss was about. He was still relatively new. The northern troll hadn’t been here for Pillows’ first visit but when some of the trolls got drunk enough they shared their tale of woe.

Pillows was already pulling off her numerous cloaks, letting them fall at her feet. She wore an emerald green blouse tucked into a pair of form-fitting khaki trousers that were tucked into a pair of black boots. “It’s sooo glorious to see you again, your majesty.” Trundle felt a smile come to his face. He still really loved that term. Your majesty. “How have you been? Keeping warm, I hope. Though I imagine that gets harder with each passing day—oh! And who are you?” She stopped when she saw Sligu. “You’re a new one!” She skipped over to him and circled him. “I don’t remember you at all! Hallo! It’s very nice to meet you! I’m Lady Pillovia Vunia Redrania Mastardes of the Piltover Mastardes!”

Sligu’s entire body seemed to clench. The troll didn’t seem to know how to react to this strange human. “I’m Sligu,” he mumbled. “You’re Pillows. I’ve heard of you.”

Pillows’ face lit up. “Oh, have you? That’s wonderful!” she turned to her companion. “King Trundle is the one who gave me that wonderfully delightful nickname. Pillows.” She giggled. “It’s a play on my name. I think King Trundle had trouble saying ‘Pillovia’ so he started calling me Pillows instead. Isn’t that delightful?”

That wasn’t why he called her Pillows.

Trundle called her Pillows because the human had the biggest pair of tits the troll had ever seen in his life. Speaking of those impressive mounds, the shirt she was wearing could barely contain them. He could see that she hadn’t managed to fasten the top three buttons, so they sort of hung open and revealed the creamy mounds and—

Trundle shook his head violently to get his train of thought back in order. “Why are you here?” It sounded rude. He didn’t care. “I thought you published your research and got it turned into a book.” The weirdo had even sent him a copy. Trundle had kept it, but only because it was about him. It wasn’t like he read it. Not because he couldn’t! He could read! He just wasn’t going to read that. He did appreciate her sending him the copy because they’d gotten to eat the delivery person’s elnük and Trundle had a good laugh when he tossed the weeping human into a crevasse to slowly freeze to death.

Pillows’ friend unwrapped themselves, revealing another human. This woman had wavy black hair fashioned into a thick braid. Her ice-blue eyes were painted around the edges with red paint that matched the tint of her lips. Trundle didn’t know the point of that since up until that moment both she and Pillows had been fully covered with thick scarves and goggles.

The woman wore khaki trousers like Pillows, but her blouse was a deep, black with shiny silver buttons. The spiked heels of her boots clicked on the cave’s floor as she walked toward them. Both Sligu and Trundle stared at her. The Troll King looked between Pillows and this new woman, head moving back and forth as he sized them up. By the gods. Trundle had never been to this Piltover, but there must be something in the water…

The woman gave them a dazzling smile. “Halloooo, darlings!”

Oh gods, no.

Now there was two of them.

The woman held out her hand and waited. Both Trundle and Sligu stared at it. Trundle remembered that Pillows had done something like that when she’d first arrived.

Pillows tittered. “Oh, Marvana! They don’t shake hands here! That isn’t there way.” She skipped over to Trundle and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Sligu had been staring at Marvana’s chest but the other human’s action had him pulling his eyes away to stare at this bizarre turn of events. He looked at Trundle, trying to convey a question with his eyes. He pantomimed stabbing and pointed at Pillows.

Trundle sighed and shook his head.

Sligu nodded then went back to staring at Marvana who was too busy looking around the cave to notice.

Trundle let Pillows hug him but only because he liked the way her tits pressed against him. The nearness of them brought back some pleasant memories. “What are you doing back, Pillows?”

She beamed at him. “Well,” Pillows said, “I know it’s short notice, but I just _had_ to come back! My research caused quite the stir when I presented it! You wouldn’t believe! I mean, it _was_ successful. I knew it would be—”

“I’m afraid, our dear little Pillovia has been accused of falsifying her information.” Marvana strode over to them. Her hips swung as she walked and Sligu’s eyes tracked the movement. The northern troll licked his lips. She smiled at Trundle. “We haven’t been properly introduced. Pillovia is _so_ forgetful. Aren’t you, dear?”

Trundle watched as Pillows’s ever-present smile dipped into a scowl before she turned to the other woman with renewed cheer. “Apologies, Marvana. It’s been such a long trip and it must have slipped my mind. King Trundle and…you,” she nodded at Sligu. “This is my oldest and dearest friend Lady Marvana Unizia Vermillia Jonarrson.”

Marvana gave a grand bow. “Of the Piltover Jonarrson’s. Charmed, I’m sure.”

Trundle was too busy trying to figure out how she hadn’t tipped over to respond. “Uh. Yeah. Welcome, I guess.” He thought back to Marvana’s words. “Wait, what does she mean by that ‘falsifying’ stuff?”

Marvana covered her mouth with her hands and laughed, high and bright. The sound of it combined with Trundle’s question seemed to sour Pillows’ mood. “Quite simply put,” she said through gritted teeth. “There are those who found the information I presented to be so fantastical that they deemed it untrue despite my providing numerous sources and interviews! As well as my original journals!” She sounded close to tears. “I am being… _reviewed_!” Pillows pulled a handkerchief from between her cleavage and dabbed at her eyes. “It’s all so utterly humiliating. Can you even imagine?”

No. No, he could not. What did any of those words mean?

“That’s why I returned with my dear friend, Marvana who has graciously tagged along to act as my intellectual witness.” Pillows placed a hand Marvana’s shoulder. “She will verify through eyewitness confirmation that my research is both accurate and factual, thus clearing my name of these outrageous, outlandish, and frankly _insulting_ accusations!”

“Or,” Marvana bared her teeth in another smile, “I’ll find enough evidence to prove them true which would lead to poor Pillovia being stripped of all her accolades. She’d be forced to leave the academy in utter humiliation and her very name would forever be tarnished by the whole debacle.” Marvana’s eyes flashed. “Wouldn’t that just be awful?” Her voice dripped with barely disguised pleasure.

Pillows’ eyes narrowed as she stared at the other woman. “Yes, it would.” She said through her own bared teeth of a smile. “Luckily, I’m confident it won’t come to that. You’ll see that the information presented in my book matches what you’ll see when observing the trolls.”

“Of course! I have no doubt whatsoever.”

“Good.” Pillows said still speaking through her clenched teeth smile.

“Yes. Very good.” Marvana agreed through a matching smile.

Trundle’s brow creased in confusion. He thought that Pillows said they were friends.

Oh, wait.

They were doing that thing humans did where they pretended to like each other, but secretly they hated each other’s guts.

For beings that were soft and squishy, humans did a lot of unnecessary and stupid shit. Just stab the other person and be done with it. Gods!

Pillows had just gotten here and already the Troll King was tired.

Pillows took Marvana by the hand. “I’ll show you around!” She sounded as excited a troll pup with their first fresh kill.

Trundle groaned and moved to follow. If he let her do it by herself, the other trolls were sure to brain her with the nearest blunt object.

“Now, the trolls haven’t always had an established monarchy,” Pillows explained. She practically vibrated as she talked, eager to share what she’d learned. “There were kings in their ancient history, but Trundle is the first in an exceptionally long time. Under his leadership, this warband has gone through many reforms!”

Marvana had taken out a notepad and pen, jotting notes as they walked. “Such as?” Her voice was flat and disinterested.

“Well, the living quarters for one!” Pillows ran over to an entrance before Trundle could stop her. “Before, the trolls all slept in one mass area to better conserve heat, but Trundle saw an opportunity to expand through the mountain. The trolls tunneled through the mountain, creating creches that serve as living spaces! Like apartments made of stone!” Pillows laughed. “Not only did it improve living conditions, but there was also a boost of morale!”

Trundle didn’t see what was so amazing about that. Seemed like common sense. When they were all living in the one area, there was no space and no privacy. Fights broke out which led to trolls getting their heads caved in. Once they started tunneling out living spots, the fights ceased because they had places to go to cool their tempers. Still, he had to admit it was nice hearing Pillows gush about the “ingenious” and “wise” nature of his decisions.

“Now this one belongs to – oh! It’s Hergi! Hallooo, Hergi!” Pillows yelled into the entrance hole. “It’s me! Pillovia!” she turned to Marvana. “Hergi is such a sweetheart. We were such good chums!”

Hergi grunted with exertion as he slid a giant boulder to block his entrance, sealing Pillows out. Pillows blinked, confused for just a moment before she returned to her tour. “Aaand this way is the eating area!”

“You don’t have to follow.” Trundle commented to Sligu. “I’m following them to make sure nobody kills them, but you don’t have to.”

Sligu looked at him like he was crazy. “I haven’t been this entertained since you challenged Yettu to an eating contest. And,” he added, scratching his head. “I’m still trying to figure out why you’re letting this happen.”

Trundle’s gaze grew distant as he said, “My history with Pillows is…complicated.”

Sligu squinted at his king. He looked at Trundle then at Pillows. He looked back to Trundle then back to Pillows.

His eyes slowly widened, and a smile crept over Sligu’s face as the realization dawned on him.

“Not. One. Word.” Trundle hissed. He held up Boneshiver for emphasis.

Sligu wasn’t stupid. He kept his mouth shut. Trundle let out a snort before returning attention back to Pillows. She and Marvana were making their way back to them. “And the female trolls have a separate eating spot! However, we’ll be dining with King Trundle and the male troll-kin because we are guests and it’s meant as sign of honor!”

It wasn’t. None of what she said was true. The female troll-kin didn’t normally have a separate eating space. And eating with the male trolls wasn’t a high honor. Both things were created because Pillows had annoyed the female trolls so badly that the lead one, a brutish old she-troll named Girti, came to him and told him point-blank that if the human didn’t stay away, she’d stamp her into paste. So, Trundle made them a separate eating area from some unused space in the back, and he told Pillows she’d be eating with him. It’s not his fault, she assumed.

“Well,” Marvana closed her leather-bound notebook with a snap. “This is such a wonderful start, but the day as been long and I’m—” She put a hand to her mouth and yawned. “Quite tired. Perhaps I could grab a nap before the evening meal?”

Pillows did not look pleased to have her tour interrupted. “Of course!” She gave a chuckle. “How awful and rude of me! I should have known that wouldn’t be accustomed to such rigorous physical activity.” She gave her “friend” a sympathetic look.

Marvana gave her a narrowed eye look before replacing it with a bright smile. “Well, I would say _that’s_ a bit of an exaggeration, dear. But I forgive you. It must not be easy for you. I did hear that one loses one’s memory the older one gets.”

“You’re a year older than me, Marvana!”

“And yet,” Marvana flipped her hair and laughed. “ _I_ look amazing while _you_ look wilted, poor dear.”

Trundle saw Pillows’ eye twitch as she fought to keep a smile on her face. “Yes, well. It’s wonderful how far makeup has come, isn’t it? Be careful of the cold, darling. We don’t want you flaking.”

Marvana laughed. “You wouldn’t be the first to attribute my beauty to makeup, but I assure you that this,” She waved a hand down her body, “is the result of a good diet and plenty of rest. You would benefit from that, Pollivia. Your eyes are looking especially saggy and baggy.” Marvana tittered.

The two women glowered at one another.

Pillows laughed. “Oh, I’m _so_ glad you decided to join me, Marvana!” She said with a jubilant clap of her hands.

“Oh, as if you could keep me away!” Marvana squealed and ran over to hug her. From his vantage point, Trundle saw Marvana’s face twist into a disgusted sneer at the side of Pillows’ head. Even though he couldn’t see her, the troll imagined that Pillows was making a similar face. When they pulled apart, they were all bright smiles and happy laughter once more.

Ugh. Fucking humans.

“Well, let’s get you settled, Marvana.” Pillows said. She turned to Trundle. “I will, of course be in my previous spot, I assume?”

The tips of Trundle’s ears darkened. “I mean, yeah.” He grumbled. “If you want.”

“Oh wonderful!” She turned to Marvana. “Now, Marvana, it’s especially important that you observe the local customs of the trolls. You _did_ read the copy of my work that I provided, hmm?”

Marvana gave her friend a playful shove. “Of course! You were quite insistent! It was quite informative!”

Pillows looked at the other woman with an almost unreadable expression. “And you made sure to go over the chapter concerning social customs and faux pas on page…forty-seven?”

Marvana blew out a puff of air. “Of course, Pillovia. I’m not an idiot.”

Pillows looked like it took every ounce of self-control not to say what she was clearly thinking. “Wonderful,” Pillows said. “Sligu, was it? Would you accompany us? Your majesty, I will meet you later.” Pillows bowed. Trundle didn’t care enough to ask what she was doing but nodded just the same. “Splendid! Farewell, until then!”

Trundle went back to his quarters. When he killed the old chieftain, he’d immediately taken his lair for his own and dug at the wall to increase the space. That’s where he’d gotten the idea to have the other trolls do the same.

In his room, Trundle surveyed the area. He thought it was fine, but would Pillows? She was human and they had particular…standards.

He didn’t know how long he had, so Trundle picked up the gnarled bones and tossed them into a corner. He grabbed the various furs that served as his bed and gave them a good shake. He even took the time to grab a bowl of water, heat it over his fire pit and use it to give his armpits and genitals a good scrub. If he’d known she was coming, Trundle would have taken the time for a bath. Maybe he could sneak away and have one?

“Hello, King Trundle.”

Trundle turned just as Pillows walked in. She must have gone back for pack and cloaks because she tossed them unceremoniously to the floor. Pillows knelt and began unlacing her boots allowing Trundle to get a good look down her blouse. The troll king felt a familiar stirring under his loincloth.

Pillows let out a relieved sigh as wiggled her now free toes from the pinched confines of the boots she’d been wearing. Pillows took a breath and then screamed. “That two-faced, balloon-chested shrew!”

Trundle blinked. Of all the things he’d expected her to say, that wasn’t it.

Pillows pulled untied her hair and let it cascade free. “She’s always been a nightmare! Ever since we were children. It’s because she’s jealous! She’s _always_ been jealous of me. I know it was her! Of course, it was! Stupid Marvana! Oooh!” Pillows turned to him. Her face took a sorrowful look. “Trundle,” she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “I fear I’ve done something…malicious.”

Oho. Well, _that_ sounded interesting. “What did you do?” he asked, his curiosity sincerely piqued. A part of him wondered what Pillows considered ‘malicious’.

Pillows pouted. “Well, it’s her own fault! And I – I only meant it as a test!” She stuttered. “Yes, a test! I just wanted to prove she was a liar!”

*

Lady Marvana Unizia Vermillia Jonarrson stared at the mound of ratty furs with open distaste. Luckily, the troll she was being forced to bunk with was too busy closing the door to notice. Before she’d left, Pillovia had urged her to remember the importance of the trolls’ bed. She hadn’t elaborated and Marvana hadn’t bothered to ask. Marvana tried to search her memory but came up short.

Oh well.

Knowing, Pillovia’s tendency to exaggerate, it probably wasn’t terribly important to begin with. Sighing, she tossed her things into a corner and lay down on the bed (calling it that was gracious on her part). It smelled as awful as the troll it belonged to. Oh, why did she even agree to come here? It was bad enough they were in bloody Freljord – the country of a forever winter and savagery – but now she was forced to share a room? With a troll?!

No. _No_. She had to get through this. The promise of finding discrepancies in Pillovia’s work and branding her a fraud was too delicious to pass up. That snooty cow thought she was better than Marvana. She always had! Ever since they were children! Now, Marvana had the chance to knock that insufferable bitch down a peg. That alone made trudging through snow and enduring the company of both Pillovia and trolls worth it.

The troll Sligu turned around after sliding the boulder back into place. Why didn’t the trolls have normal doors? Odd creatures.

Marvan reclined back onto the furs and smiled up at her new roommate. “I must thank you for your generosity, Sligu. I was surprised that Pillovia suggested I bunk with you, so to speak, but who am I to question her? Who knows what goes on in her mediocre head?” Marvana laughed. Her laughter trailed off when she noticed that Sligu had yet to say anything.

He just stared at her.

Marvana knew trolls weren’t very smart. Still, the way he looked at her was very odd.

“Is something the matter, darling?” Marvana tried to keep her tone lighthearted despite her growing unease. Her smile faltered. “Why are you staring at me like?” Her mouth fell open when the rust-brown troll dropped his trousers to the floor, revealing a stiffening cock surrounded by an unruly thatch of wiry pubic hair. Marvana sat up, gaping like a fish at the sight of it.

She took a deep breath and a high, prolonged scream pierced the air.

*

Trundle fell back on his bed furs, holding his sides as he bellowed with laughter. Pillovia looked extremely put out by this reaction. She stamped her foot. “It’s not funny!”

“It’s hilarious! Besides,” Trundle gave the spot next to him a pat, “you said it was on her fault for not reading your book.” She relented and made her way to his side. “I didn’t expect you to come back.”

“Well, I didn’t expect to come back.” She admitted. “But this nonsense forced my hand.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Pillows’ face brightened. “Ooh! I almost forgot! I brought you gifts.” She crawled off the bed and ran back to her pack. She brought it over to him. She handed him a tiny object made of glass and metal. It was clear with some sort of gritty substance inside. He stared at it and waited for an explanation. “It’s an hourglass!” Pillows announced with a wave of her fingers. “I remembered you said you’d never been to a desert, so I surmised you’d never seen sand! So!” she pointed at the hourglass. “It has sand inside. You turn it like this and when the sand completely falls into the other side, it means an hour has passed!”

Hnh. Well, that was sort of interesting. “Thanks.”

“And I also brought you this.” She placed a box in his hand. She pulled off the brightly colored lid and displayed the contents. “Ta-da!”

Again, he waited for an explanation.

Pillows gave him a soft smile. “It’s chocolate,” she told him. She picked one of the pieces and held it closer for him to see. “You eat it.”

He sniffed at it. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it. It was brown like dung. He’d heard of trolls that ate elnuk dung every once in a while, but usually it was because they were hard up. Or, in Yettu’s case, eating the dung served another purpose.

Pillows let out a soft laugh. She undid her blouse, revealing her namesakes stuffed in the confines of a corset. “Well, I know a good way to get you try it.” She pressed the piece of chocolate into her cleavage. The heat from her flesh melted the chocolate.

Trundle grumbled before leaning down to take a tentative lick. That tentative lick turned to him shoving his face between her breasts as he chased the remnants of the melted sweet. One hand reached up to cup her and he gave her a gentle squeeze.

Pillows was already undoing the laces of her corset. “So, what did you think?” She asked.

Trundle licked the corner of his mouth. “Not bad.” He admitted. He gave her a grin. “Although, I think there’s something else I’d prefer to taste.” He leered at her.

Pillows quickly undid the top buttons and pulled her trousers down to her knees. Trundle helped pull them rest of way, careful not to rip them. She got so annoyed when he ripped her clothes. Made her voice go all shrill.

He licked her through the sheer material of her panties, loving the sharp breath she took at the contact. Humans were so sensitive.

Pillows pulled down the sheer, white material and he pulled them off and out them aside as well. Ah, there we go.

Trundle wasted no time sticking his face between her legs. His wide tongue lapped at her folds. He worked his nose against her clit while he jabbed his tongue in out in an imitation of what they’d be doing soon enough. Trundle felt Pillows’ hand grip at his ragged nest of hair, felt her wrap her legs around his shoulders. What made it better was the fact he could hear her.

Pillows couldn’t be quiet to save her life and the act of mating seemed to make the human even more vocal. Not that Trundle minded. If anything, he preferred this noise to her usual nonstop chatter.

In fact, Trundle saw her increased volume as well as the effect of being lost in pleasure reducing to her spouting gibberish as a sign of a job well done. She wasn’t quite at that level yet, but Trundle was confident he’d get her there.

After all, they still had a few hours until the evening meal…

Trundle pulled away, licking his chops. Pillows lay back against the furs, panting heavily. He stuck his index finger into his mouth and bit the yellowed nail to a shorter, less sharp length before slipping it inside her. The troll used his free hand to caress and fondle Pillows’ naked tits, pulling and pinching at her nipples until they stood upright. Gods, he loved her tits. What was it about them? They were nothing troll breasts. The breasts of she-trolls weren’t as plump as these. They swelled only when the female was about to whelp a litter and even then, they never got this big or soft. Trundle gave Pillows’ breasts another fondle and squeeze as he fingered her dripping cunt. She was already so wet for him. He grinned a gap-toothed smile as he reached down and gave himself a couple of strokes. “Ready for me?” He asked. She nodded and he bit back a groan as he rubbed the purple tip of his cock against her before working it into her inch by agonizing inch. Humans were so goddamned soft. They’re bones so brittle and easily broken. Trundle knew he had to be all gentle-like with Pillows or else she’d get hurt. If she got hurt, then she’d never want to do this again. Trundle couldn’t have that.

When he bottomed out, the troll sat back with a grunt, pulling Pillows into his lap. She hugged his neck to keep from falling off as he bounced up and down on his dick. Trundle growled seeing those luscious mounds bouncing just withing reaching, he flicked out his tongue trying to catch one of her nipples with the tip. He gripped her ass, remembering in his haze not to pierce her soft skin with his nails.

Trundle always had to remember things when he fucked Pillows. Don’t tear her clothes. Don’t tear her skin. Don’t stick it up her bum unless she asked for it. Honestly, it could be a little irritating but, _ohhh_. Oh, when he was balls deep in this human, Trundle forgot all his early complaints. He forgot how Pillows annoyed ninety-nine percent of the warband with her incessant and invasive questions. He forgot how she had pretty much forced her way into his room and never left. He forgot he dreaded hearing that she was back to do more research.

Yep. Trundle forgot all that. The only thing that mattered was the mating. He wanted to fill her. He wanted to see his seed sloshing out of her and to see the noisy human lying boneless and out of breath from a good fuck.

Pillows was screaming in his ear by now and Trundle didn’t care. These were the noises he preferred coming from the anthropologist’s pretty mouth.

Gods, she was so tight!

Trundle reared up on his knees and pistoned his hips harder. He was so close! The human was so tight. So delicious.

So wet.

So godsdamned tight!

“Gonna fill you,” Trundle snarled. His eyes seemed to glow brighter with his fervor. “Get you nice and swollen. Fucking fill you! You ready for it? You ready for all of it?”

Pillows moaned and pressed her face into his neck, peppering the leathery blue flesh with open mouth kisses.

Trundle came, roaring so loud he was sure they heard that the troll-kin the next valley could hear it. He collapsed on his side, pulling Pillows along for the ride. He didn’t pull out right away, opting to pump himself lazily in and out of her. He pulled her close, nestling his cheek against her sweat-soaked breasts. He needed a nap. Just one nap. Then maybe he and Pillows could have another go. That sounded fantastic.

“Look what I brought!”

Trundle groaned and cracked an eyelid. Pillows had managed to drag her bag closer with her fingers and had pulled a large leather-bound book from inside.

Oh gods no. Not that!

“You…” Trundle tried swallow down his rage. “You brought your research journal.”

“I brought my research journal!” Pillows confirmed with glee. With a soft moan, she slid herself off Trundle’s softening dick and turned over onto her stomach. And arousal the Troll King felt at seeing his seed spill out of her was dampened by her pulling out a pen and inkwell. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that there have been changes since my last visit! I want to know all about them! Spare no details! First, start with Sligu. When did he join your tribe? He’s not blue like the rest of you. Where’s he from originally?”

“Please, Pillows. I’m so tired. Can’t we have a bit of a lie down before you start with the journal?” He fucking hated that journal. The first time they’d fuck she’d pulled it out after they were done and had started back to work. The human liked to talk as she wrote, and she could write for literal hours. The most annoying part was when she wrote something that she thought was clever she’d chuckle to herself. She did that a lot.

Pillows looked scandalized that he’d even ask. “Why put off what I can do now for later,” she asked and gave his nose a tap. “Now, let’s get started! Ooh! Maybe I might have enough information to complete a second volume! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Trundle covered his face with his hands and moaned.

The troll measured the passages of time with the very hourglass the human had given him.

Two hours.

_Two_ whole hours.

Uuuuuuuuuuugh.

“Okay,” Pillows said. She ended the sentence she’d been writing with a flourish of her pen. “That should do it.” She closed the journal and put it back in her back. Trundle glowered at it, wishing he could set the entire thing on fire. “None of that.” Pillows told him. She crawled over to him. “For your patience, I’ve decided to give you a reward.”

Trundle sat up. “More chocolate?”

Pillows laughed. “No, silly!” She paused. “Also, that chocolate is for sharing,” Pillow told him.

“Of course,” Trundle said, lying through his teeth. He gave a bright smile. There was no way in hell he was sharing that chocolate. That box was his and his alone.

Pillows nodded, satisfied. The blonde woman gave him a mischievous smile. “Tell me, King Trundle. Have you ever heard of fellatio?”

“No,” Trundle grunted. He wondered if it was a type of food. Maybe a weapon?

Pillows giggled. “No,” she grinned. “I suppose you wouldn’t. Not with those teeth.” She dragged herself along his body. “Here, let me show you…”

Outside Trundle’s room, the troll-kin looked up from their respective tasks when they heard their leader’s bellowing roar.

They waited.

They listened.

It wasn’t followed by a second roar or by a stream of violent cursing, which confirmed that King Trundle was neither hurt nor in danger, so they returned to what they’d been previously doing.

Trundle fell back, chest heaving with exertion.

That…that was amazing! Did humans do that all the time? If that was the case, then no wonder they had those blunt excuses for teeth instead proper bone-crushing chompers like trolls.

Pillows had wanted to swallow as much as she could, but she hadn’t been prepared. His seed had painted her chest and face and she knelt there lamenting the mess. “You got it in my hair!” she complained.

Trundle lifted his head to look at her. He studied her, saw the globs of his seed dribbling off her naked tits and onto her bare thighs. Her face was absolutely coated with the stuff and yes – he could see specks of white along her hairline.

The Troll King swallowed a groan. If Trundle was being honest, he liked the sight of her like this. “We can head to the baths. Get you cleaned off. Just – just give me a minute.”

*

Lady Marvana Unizia Vermillia Jonarrson didn’t show up for the evening meal and she didn’t show up for the early morning one either. Pillows didn’t seem to mind. She chatted with Trundle about the previous research she compiled into her first book. “I had to use a basic, bland cover.” Pillows said as she tore at her meat with her fingers. Trundle knew that humans couldn’t stomach some of the same things as trolls. They liked their meats cooked and without that tangy ripeness that comes with letting rot. Trundle didn’t understand, but he did manage to find a hunk of whale meat in the storage that had been added on their last raid. The hunk was the size of his head, so Pillows cut it in half deciding to save it for Marvana if she ever decided to arrive.

Trundle had Pillows seated to his left out of the reach of any of the other trolls. Sligu sat at his right ravensously eating a chunk of drüvask. Trundle elbowed him. “The human still alive?” he asked.

Sligu nodded. “Yeah,” he wiped the grease from his chin. “She was getting dressed before I left. She should be here soo—”

“Pillovia Vunia Redrania Mastardes!”

Marvana stormed into the room, her unbound black hair billowing behind her like a cape. She had indeed changed her clothes. Now she wore a form-fitting black dress made of an almost shimmering material. The thin straps on her shoulders seemed to be fighting a losing battle as she marched over to Pillows who had scrambled to her feet, journal clutched to her chest like a shield against the angry woman.

“Well, hallo Marvana,” Pillows began with a weak smile. “How are you?”

“Don’t ‘hallo’ me you, absolute bitch!” Marvana snarled. “Do have any idea what you put me through? It is because of your actions that I found myself in an unsavory situation and I was – I was mounted by a troll!” Marvana took a shuddering breath.

Trundle looked over at Sligu. “You?” he asked.

Sligu nodded.

“How was it?”

The small troll thought long and hard. “Nice and tight,” he said.

Trundle nodded. “Yeah, that they are.”

“She was a screamer too. Thought she was going to rupture my damn ears.”

Trundle gave a little snort of laughter. “Yeah,” he said, wistfully. He remembered all the screaming Pillows did their first time too.

Sligu took another bite and chewed before he added, “Fucking immaculate pair of tits.”

“Oh, don’t I know it!” Trundle raised his chunk of meat and bumped it with the other troll’s in a facsimile of a toast.

“It’s was a test, Marvana!” Pillows said. “One of which you failed. If you had _actually_ read my book, then you would have known never to lay on another troll’s bed because they consider it an invitation to mate!”

Yeah, that had been a bit awkward the first time around. Trundle still didn’t know why Pillows thought she could just claim his bed for herself in the first place. It all worked out in the end. Trundle sighed, remembering that glorious night.

Marvana scowled. “Well, because of your bloody test, I had to spend almost half a day recuperating from – from that accosting!”

Trundle’s arched a brow at Sligu. The other troll shrugged. The trolls that liked bathing were few in number, but it included both the Troll King and the northern troll. Trundle had seen what Sligu had dangling. The gods may not have blessed Sligu with size or bulk, but they’d blessed him in other ways. If anything, Trundle was surprised it had only taken Marvana half a day to recover. 

“Oh, come off it, Marvana.” Pillows sniffed. “I know for a fact that despite their brutish appearances, trolls are prefer only consensual sex with their partners! So, bluster all you want, but I know that Sligu didn’t do anything that _you_ didn’t want. Or am I wrong?” Marvan’s face turned bright pink. “Hmmph! I thought so. Really, Marvana you only have yourself to blame.” Pillows pointed an accusatory finger. “I had the sneaking suspicion that you hadn’t read my book. That’s why I asked. I asked if you’d read the chapter on social customs and faux pas? Remember? I said it was on page forty-seven? Well, that was just a clever ruse! The real chapter started on page _sixty-five_!” Pillows struck a triumphant pose, pleased with her cleverness. “For shame, Marvana! I even gave you a signed copy!”

Marvana seethed with rage. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Fine,” Marvana said giving Pillows a cold look. “I’ll admit it. I didn’t read your book.” A mean-spirited smile spread over her face. “In fact, I ripped out the pages.”

Pillows gasped.

“ _And_ I used them to line the cage of my beloved songbird, Mr. Tuffles.” Marvana seemed to take a perverse sense of pleasure revealing that.

Pillows gasped again only louder. She looked like she was seconds from fainting. “Marvana, how could you?”

“Oh, come off it! I know you only gave me that book to show off!” Marvana sniffed. “You’re _always_ showing off!”

Sligu leaned over to Trundle. “The fuck are they arguing about?”

Trundle snapped a bone in his teeth and sucked out the marrow. “I’unno,” he replied with a shrug. “Human stuff.”

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Pillows accused. “You were the one who brought forth the accusation that I’d falsified my information.”

“So, what if I did?” Marvana snapped. She gestured around them. “You wrote that these creatures were scavengers. Scavengers! Look at them! They’re walls of muscles!”

“So, you did read my book!”

“I _skimmed_ it! I found the information you presented would be better categorized as a work of fiction!”

Pillows looked beside herself with rage. “I’ll have you know that I have a direct quote from King Trundle that he and his people go out and find their food and supplies! So there!”

Sligu looked questioningly at his King. Trundle leaned closer to whisper, “Yeah, I was being sarcastic when I told her that.”

“Ah,” Sligu said, nodding with understanding. “They must not have a concept of sarcasm in Piltover.”

“Must not.”

Pillows looked like she didn’t know whether she wanted to scream or cry. “Well, since we’re being honest; I found your work on Ionian wildlife migration routes to be _poorly sourced_!”

Trolls weren’t much for conversation during mealtimes, preferring to use their mouths for chewing, but whatever conversations had been gone on had stopped once all this started happening. They watched with rapt attention to the two human women’s squabble.

Marvana placed a hand over her mouth and gasped. “You take that back!” she hissed. Pillows defiantly shook her head. “Oh yeah? _Your_ freshmen oral presentation on Demacian agriculture was rushed and lazily compiled!” Marvana walked forward until she was touching noses with Pillows. “The holes in your logic were so large, I could have flown a zeppelin through them _and_ —” she grinned. “The entire time you had something stuck in your teeth!”

Pillows narrowed her eyes. Her face was scarlet with rage. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides. With a tone as cold as Boneshiver, she looked at Marvana and said, “Remember when you asked me to review the paper you planned to present for publication in the _Piltover Scientific Progress_? Well, I found two spelling errors.” She smiled at the look of horror on Marvana’s face. “I never told you. That’s right, Marvana. I let you publish _imperfect_ work. People laughed behind your back for weeks until that issue was out of circulation!”

The sound of Marvana backhanding Pillows rang out in the dining area.

It was hard to tell who looked more shocked by what had just happened. Marvana or Pillows. Pillows raised trembling fingers to the reddened area of her face. “N-now, Pillovia,” Marvana began, taking a step back. “Let’s be reasonable about—"

Pillows lunged at the other with a scream and grabbed a fistful of her ebony black hair and began yanking it viciously. Marvana shrieked and grabbed a chunk of Pillows’ hair, yanking and pulling it as well.

The two women spun in a circle, clawing blindly at the other’s face as they pulled each other’s hair.

“Ow-ow-ow-ow- _ow_! Marvana, let go of my hair, you sow!”

“Ooooow! _You_ let go first, Pillovia!”

“Never!”

Sligu started to rise with the intent to stop whatever this was, but Trundle held up a finger. “Not quite yet. I wanna see where this goes,” the Troll King said, unable to tear his eyes from the scene in front of him.

Pillows managed to trip Marvana sending the other woman tumbling to the ground. She straddled her fallen foe and slapped her repeated across the face. Marvana roared and knocked Pillows off balance. She dug her sharpened nails into the blonde woman’s shirt tore into the fabric, revealing the pink flesh beneath. Marvana made another grab for Pillows hair. Pillows screamed and tried to pull away. They rolled on the ground, screaming and clawing at one another.

“Enough!” Marvana screamed. She got to her feet. One of her straps had snapped and the hem of the dress was ripped away. She’d lost a shoe as well. “I feel so sorry for you, Pillovia.” She turned her back to Pillows with as much dignity as she could muster given the circumstances. “You’re a joke,” Marvana said. “You ever wonder why I was the only one who would associate with you? It’s because no one liked you. You didn’t have any other friends at school because you were such a snooty know-it-all. Which was laughable since you were a loser. You’re not even that smart. The only reason you’ve even gotten so far at the academy is because of your daddy’s generous financial contributions. If it weren’t for your money, you’d be a nobody—like you deserve!”

Pillows saw red. She propelled herself forward and grabbed the back of Marvana’s dress, ripping it away from the woman’s body. Lady Marvana Unizia Vermillia Jonarrson’s eyes bulged as she was left standing in nothing more than a skimpy pair of green panties. She screamed shrilly and moved her arms to shield her naked breasts.

She rounded on Pillows who still held the remnants of her dress, teeth bared in an almost bestial snarl. Pillows blinked, dumbfounded. She looked at the torn fabric in her hands.

Pillows tried to hide it behind her back. “So, if I could just apologize—”

“That was imported Ionian silk, you stupid cow! I’ll kill you!” Marvana lunged for her, ready to wrap her hands around Pillows’ throat and strangle the life from her only to have Sligu hook an arm around her middle. The troll pressed her close to him as he ran from the room, eager to get back to his quarters. “No!” Marvana could be heard fuming. “Sligu, let me go! I want to scratch out her eyes! I want to scratch out her eyes!”

Pillows breathed a sigh of relief. She threw the torn fabric to the side and turned back to apologize to Trundle only to find the troll already standing behind her.

The Troll King’s glowing blue eyes bored into hers. He placed his hands on her hips and said, “Alley-oop!”

Pillows squeaked as she was tossed over Trundle’s shoulder and carried from the room. “King Trundle!”

“Nope! None of that,” Trundle gave her rump a slap. “You don’t get to put on a show like that and expect me not to get a rise from it.” He chuckled. “Let’s go take care of my issue.” The troll paused. “But this time no journaling!”

*

All things eventually came to an end. After three weeks, Marvana announced that she’d seen enough. In a begrudging tone, the dark-haired woman told Pillows that she reached the conclusion that none of the information compiled in her book appeared to be falsified. Trundle had let Sligu borrow his copy with the express orders that Marvana had to read it. Which she did. Trundle suspected she was afraid of what he’d do to her if she didn’t.

Trundle hadn’t planned to do anything to her, but he was more than happy to let her assume. Humans always assumed.

The day before she was meant to leave, Trundle and Pillows kept entirely in his room only leaving to grab food, make water, and empty his guts. He didn’t know if she’d be back again, so he decided that he was going to raw her good before she set off. Sligu obviously had the same idea, because he passed the small troll leaving the cave as Trundle was coming back to it. It was hard to see, but the troll had a familiar shade of red lipstick smeared down his stomach leading his loincloth as well as his face and neck.

Marvana and Pillows, bundled against the cold pulled their elnük by the reins. Both the women were amazed that the beasts still lived, half expecting the trolls to have eaten them. What they didn’t know is that some of trolls had tried, but Trundle reminded them that without the beasts, the humans couldn’t leave and that had put an end to that.

“Farewell, my dear King Trundle!” Pillows had to stand on her toes to hug the troll around the neck. His hands slid down her back to her rear which he gave one last appreciative squeeze through her many cloaks and furs. Sligu was saying his own farewell to Marvana, rutting against the woman’s thigh like a rimefang wolf in heat. If he kept that up, he’d splatter against the woman’s fine-looking furs. Not sure Marvana would appreciate that too much. Trundle yanked him away before he could spill and shoved him back towards the cave. The other trolls gathered around the entrance watching the human women depart. Pillows had been moved by what she thought was trolls wishing her a fond farewell.

In truth, the trolls watched to ensure she left and was truly gone.

Pillows and Marvana mounted their elnük and set off against the snow, heads bent to wind and snow. The trolls – with the exception of Sligu and Trundle breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the humans were too far to be seen.

“You seemed sad to see her go,” Sligu commented to his king. Trundle grunted but said nothing else. Sligu scratched under his chin, “But you were so annoyed when she arrived. I don’t understand.”

Trundle huffed. “It’s,” he struggled. “It’s complicated. You weren’t here the first time. She was always around, watching us like some weird owl. Scribbling her notes and asking nosy questions. And the _talking_!” Trundle groaned. “She was always talking! ‘What’s this?’ and ‘What are those?’ She never stopped.”

“But you mated with her anyway?”

Trundle grinned at that. “Well, she made the same mistake your little human did. I tried to scare her off, but instead she took me up on the offer. She said it would be a unique experience. ’Spose she wasn’t wrong about that.”

“You think they’ll come back?”

“Nah. I think that’s that.”

Trundle was surprised when not even a month later when another human showed up riding an elnük. This one was too tall to be Pillows or Marvana. “I-I h-have a package for K-king Trundle.”

Trundle hefted Boneshiver onto one shoulder and studied the little human who had dared entered his territory. “That’d be me, tiny. What do you want? Speak fast before I let my boys rip off your limbs for fun.”

The human whimpered and Trundle could smell the telltale scent of urine. “I got a package from Bilgewater for you from one Lady Pillovia.”

Trundle sighed and hooked the war-club to his belt. He held out his hand. The human inched closer until he was close enough to place a box in the troll’s outstretched palm. Trundle ripped off the brown paper revealing the green cover of a book. He traced each letter with a finger, not recognizing any of the words until he got to one he did.

P-I-L-L-O-V-I-A.

Oh. This must be her newest book. The cover was green and bare except for the gold letters.

“Thanks.” Trundles growled. He bared his teeth in a smile. Maybe he’d let this one live. Maybe.

The human’s knees knocked together. “I-I’m also s-supposed to give you this.” He held up an envelope. “I-I-I-I – ”

“Stop fucking stuttering!”

The human jumped. “I’m supposed to tell you to open it in private!” he squawked.

Trundle’s brows raised. He looked down at the envelope. He turned and trudged back to the cave. “Let him go. He gets to live.” The trolls let out a chorus of disappointed groans. “Shuddup!” He roared back at them.

In his room, Trundle had to carefully work his way into the envelope so not to tear it. Such delicate work was not meant for troll fingers, but he managed.

The contents of said envelope was a rolled paper with a wax seal keeping it closed. Curious, Trundle decided. He examined the seal. It was a sword being wrapped around by some sort of eel-like creature. The troll hummed and scratched at his beard as he searched his memory for something Pillows had told him before she left.

Oh, right! Bilgewater. She’d been talking about a place called Bilgewater. Said you could anything made there, no questions asked if you paid the right amount of gold.

Trundle hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now he was slicing through the wax seal a claw and unfurling the paper.

His breath caught in his throat.

It was a painted picture of Pillows. The human woman lounged on a dark rug of fur wearing nothing but a smile. She posed with her arms behind her head and back arched letting her perfect breasts jut into the air. He unfurled the paper further and saw another picture of Pillows with her on her knees, looking over her shoulder. She had her ass on display and her legs spread enough that the Troll King could see a hint of pink.

Fuck. Trundle felt his mouth water. _Fuck!_

He went to his door and yelled out to anyone who might be near enough to hear. “Nobody better bother me for next hour or I will bury you headfirst in the snow!” Then he slid the boulder in front of the door.

He affixed the paintings of Pillows to his cave wall by embedding two daggers into the top and bottom of the scroll. Trundle flopped down on bed of furs and rubbed his hands together, eager to get started with showing his appreciation for his newest gift.


End file.
